Sunday, February 25, 2007

Cubicles

Second worst idea ever. You get trapped in three walls the size of huts our kind used to built six thousand years ago. Except their huts had sunlight, but our cubicles don’t. Nope. It’s fluorescent light, much like the kind you see in Joe versus the Volcano. Sometimes, when I get really bored at work, I dance in my cubicle. I can’t stand up, because the walls don’t go that high, and everyone would see me, but I start bouncing in my chair and doing crazy moves, just because I can. I’m surrounded by a hundred people, and nobody knows what I do in here.

The only good thing about cubicles is that I have attuned my hearing so much, that from a footstep twenty feet away, I can tell the direction of the walker, calculate their most likely destination, and toggle my screen to a spreadsheet in under a couple seconds. I’m even learning how to gauge weight and height. So good for you, cubicles.

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