Tuesday, November 11, 2008

bake sales

Perusing through the New York Times the other day, I happened upon an article which further demonstrates the dismantling of modern society. The headline?

Bake Sales Fall Victim to Push for Healthier Foods

Apparently, through some terrible liberal conspiracy, the amount of donuts available to children is being restricted.

I'm aghast. How could we, the bastion of the fat world, have fallen to this level? The article talks of legislation doing away with the sales of cookies, potato chips, greased pig fat, and hostess cupcakes. mmmmmmmmmm....hostess blessed cupcakes...

Now, don't get me wrong, I consider myself liberal as well. I liberally apply nutella to all of my bagels, and I'm pretty liberal when it comes to the number of scoops of ice cream I serve myself. Though, I'll admit I'm somewhat conservative when it comes to divvying up my sugar to others. Imagine my surprise when people who claim to share my take on life turn around and stab me in the back with celery?

This discriminatory inhibition of sugar is an outrage!!! I plan on organizing rallies to protest this!! Rallies that involve sitting! On my couch. Eating brownies...

1 comment:

Katie said...

Mmmm, nutella. *Homer Simpson noise*