Sunday, November 30, 2008

laser shows

I write with some hesitation about laser shows, as many smart and intelligent people that I know seem to derive some sort of satisfaction from them. It's not often that I insult my friends to their faces, so I'm going to use as much tact as possible in conveying to you my viewpoint:

Laser shows are stupid.

The only difference between watching a laser show and your car radio is scale. For those of you unfamiliar with this form of "entertainment", a laser show is a term commonly used by planetariums to rob you of your money. Instead of providing you a nice guided show on planets like our tax money goes to provide, they coop you up in the big dome auditorium, and shine bright lights in semi-random patterns, whilst playing classic rock. So, basically, your car radio on a giant technicolor dome.

I shouldn't be so cavalier. I'm sure there's something I'm missing. I still recall the first time I went to a laser show. I was so excited to hear the old man speak in hushed tones whilst pointing a laser beam into the dome, describing the big bear, the big dipper, the big dragon, the big bird, and the big cross. It was the shock of my life to have Led Zeppelin pummeling my eardrums with big fancy red lines parading in dizzying patterns above. Then, as now, I couldn't understand the point. I spent the whole hour trying to figure out why I was watching that, and when the old man was going to tell me about supernovas.


Jerkolas said...

Nothing wrong with a little classic rock and if your car radio can create shining lights that induce a high like experience then way to go.

Also maybe what you are missing is the right girl at your side during the laser show. I bet that would be pretty good.

Amy said...

Amen. One time I got really excited when this guy I didn't really like approached me and said, "You. Me. U2." Are you kidding? A date to see U2? I accepted before he clarified that it was Laser U2. So then I had to backtrack and remember that I had something going on the night (and all the other nights he suggested).