Monday, December 22, 2008

latter-day pirates

Apparently, pirates did not die with the British empire. Like the British, they've retreated to a small geographic area, but unlike the British, they chose one of the most inhospitable places you could imagine: the horn of Africa.

These pirates are much advanced over their loot-toting, parrot-loving, eye-patched progenitors. Instead of scimitars, they carry AK-47s. Instead of cannon, anti-tank weaponry. Though obviously a subjective opinion, these latter-day pirates are much less romantic than the originals. It's hard to generate a diligent fan base without rolling up the good ol' jolly roger every once in awhile.

For some reason unbeknown to me, though pirates have advanced, anti-pirate weaponry has taken a serious step backwards. One only need read about a recent pirate attack to confirm said statement.

There are many oddities about the encounter (including the pirates requesting shoes at the end of the battle--I mean, seriously, Captain Blackbeard probably turned twice in davey jones' locker), but the one thing that stood out to me was the weaponry used. To quote from the article:

"'We had a lot of beer bottles and we made a lot of cocktail [petrol] bombs,' said Capt Peng. 'We were well prepared. We threw them at them.

'After the first attack they retreated but somehow they got very good weapons - anti-tank weapons - which they fired at us, and succeeded in coming up to our living quarters.'"

So, let me get this straight. Pirates are using anti-tank weapons, and to counter said threat, the crew is throwing molotov cocktails? Are you kidding me? Is this some sort of bad joke? IT'S AN ANTI-TANK WEAPON. YOU DO NOT THROW LITTLE BITTY BOTTLES FILLED WITH PETROL IN RETALIATION AND PLAN ON WINNING.

Granted, I must be wrong, because the crew ended up winning the battle. But I'm still a little stunned. The only logical conclusions are thus:

1. Original pirates were way cool
2. New pirates are sissies
3. Molotov cocktails are acceptable counters to anti-tank weaponry
4. Most pirates are in it for the shoes

1 comment:

Julie said...

also, for a fan base you have to be recognizable. I wonder what new age pirate attire should be...