Sunday, May 31, 2009

country music

Country music is a valid method of expression for millions of individuals in the United States and throughout the world. However, being a valid method still doesn't make it right.

This post would be a lot better written had I the opportunity to do research on the subject of country music. Unfortunately, my ears fused to the side of my head on hearing the opening cords of "Live Like You Were Dying"1, my head started twitching, and I involuntarily put on jeans and attempted to shoot a passing squirrel.

So let's just cover the basics (i.e., stereotypes). Country music involves twangy-sounds, southern accents (as Strongbad truthfully claims, those are hot), and methods of transportation like trucks or horses or dogs2.

Unfortunately, country music also involves extremely attractive women, so, in an attempt to maximize my chances of keeping some form of my wit in the future gene pool, I shall refrain from any public judgment on the character of the individuals listening to said abomination.

Lastly, a long time ago, country music and real music made a pact: country music would stay on certain radio stations, and not infringe on anyone else's territory, and, in return, the rest of the world would not blatantly insult country music listeners. This pact has been broken as of late, which thing I just discovered as multiple normal radio stations simultaneously play Taylor Swift. Constantly.

Fortunately, Taylor Swift is extremely attractive, but, unfortunately, this isn't very apparent by listening to her songs. In the song which I repeatedly try to avoid hearing, she starts dreaming about a love story, and she sees a dude, and her dad tells him to back off, and she's going to meet the guy secretly, and he doesn't come, but he does come, and he brings a ring, and he's somehow talked to her dad, and smoothed everything out? If she were telling me this in person, it would make total sense, because I wouldn't be paying attention (see comment on her being extremely attractive). As it's over the radio, I'm forced to analyze what she's saying, and I tell you, I don't get it.

1. In obeying his advice, I found myself dressing up in a suit and lying in a cushioned box.
2. Don't think dogs are a method of transportation, huh? Ever seen a dogsled race? Huh? Have ya? Or maybe possibly watched one on television? Or read about it in the dozens of children's books on the subject? Why are there so many children's books on dogsled races anyways?


chris said...

also, thanks to spr for the motivation to add numbers instead of stars. next step is to link them as soon as I figure out how to do that (hints are welcome).

and I added in a helpful (?) "what is this" on the right hand side, about which I'm also open to commentary and/or insults.

Katie said...

I might have to steal the number idea if I can figure out how to put them in superscript. But that's what Google was invented for right?

Also, I'm glad that I'm not the only one who listens to the Taylor Swift song, tries to pick it apart, and then gets mad. And I don't even have the comfort of falling back on the fact that she's hot so it doesn't matter if she can't write sensible lyrics.

It just annoys me.