Thursday, April 1, 2010

april fools' day

In a holiday schedule packed with celebrations for Lincoln, Washington, Independence, and a variety of religious and animalian icons, April Fools' Day brings a welcome break from such subjects, and unabashedly celebrates gullibility.

Some of us are excited for the chance to catch our friends with some awkward lie, and some of us live in daily fear of forgetting of the existence of such a day, and looking like an idiot when telling their coworkers that Google has announced a new scheme wherein they will print and send you all of your emails.

This can produce no small amount of awkwardness.

Luckily, the awkwardness isn't restricted solely to the workplace. For reasons known only to themselves, about half of the world's single population will proclaim they are engaged today.

This is funny if you are the single person, because you know you are not engaged. This is confusing to your friends, because just last month (and the month before that) you couldn't get a date. It's a time of great joy and excitement for your distant friends, who know not that you can't get a date, and they send in their laudatory notes with great praise, shamelessly expunging their feelings at the satisfaction that finally you managed to get engaged.

This is an excellent strategy for pruning friends, when the inevitable truth hits.

Not that I would blame them for believing you; I, myself, was duped by my older sister, when she proclaimed she was engaged some years ago. This was funny and not at all strangely confusing to her, because obviously she wasn't engaged to the man she had been dating for several months, and who eventually became her husband, and father of her five children. Thanks.

Having fallen for their ruse, I swore to never again fall prey to the terror that is being the gullible one.

Let us take a moment to mourn the April Fools' Day some years later when my younger sister found herself in the same situation, and did the same thing, and I, naturally, the epitome of unbridled gullibility that I am, responded the exact same way.

I blame this day for intermingling my deep unsettling fear of looking stupid1 with my fear of commitment.

This April Fools', give the gift of awkwardness.

1. I am currently reeling from having, in a religious talk, tried to draw a parallel between seeing women in the gym with recognizing the spirit. I'm having a hard time deciding if it's even feasible to come up with an analogy capable of making me look more supremely ridiculous. On the plus side, this only convinces me to seek a wife, as surely she can alert me to those ideas I have that are mind-numbingly stupid.


Marie said...

let us not forget the overdone april fools joke: I'm pregnant! (if you're married, of course.) blake really really wanted me to do that. I just couldn't.

Unknown said...

I'm pregnant! Oh wait...

bek said...

what have i done? i'm left astoundingly curious as to my engagement. please inform.