Tuesday, November 30, 2010

American Girl dolls

I have the good fortune of a) being married and b) having a daughter. These are indeed wonderful blessings. These blessings create opportunity for me to learn about worlds completely foreign to me.

Before my marriage, American Girl dolls came to my consciousness but twice: once in New York, when I worked around the corner from their store and saw many excited young girls with their excited mother and poor father in line to enter the store; and once when my younger sister received Samantha for Christmas and, as a duty-bound older brother, I teased her about it.

Since my marriage, I have had the good fortune of learning more about this beacon of American life. I can proudly say that I myself have actually physically entered American Girl Place, on more than one occasion, and in more than one city.

I can tell you that, although Kirsten was one of the original three American Girl dolls, she is now "in the vault" and cannot be purchased willy nilly, no matter how badly you want to. I can also tell you that, in addition to the "vault" policy, the American Girl people have introduced a doll of the year feature. All of this is driven primarily by their love of children and in no way motivated by profit.

I am told by a most reliable source1 that I will, at some point in the future, with absolute certainty, buy an American Girl doll for my daughter. I can tell you that when I purchase said doll, I will be charged not $20, or $30, or even $50. No, no, I will be fleeced for somewhere in the neighborhood of 120 freakin' bones.

Finally, it is with great pride that I can finally claim to have seen a full length feature film about an American Girl doll. Last night, our family watched the Samantha film, with all its cinematic glory and B-list actors. I can also tell you that, after my daughter lost interest and my wife went to the kitchen to drink hot chocolate, I actually sat on the couch, alone, by my own free will and choice, to SEE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.2

At times like this, I am proud to be an American.

1. My wife.
2. Samantha's orphan friends were adopted into her family, phew. In my defence, I was trying to avoid doing my homework.

1 comment:

megan said...

So THAT's why I was drinking hot chocolate in the kitchen by myself. I wondered where you went. You poor, miserable fool.