Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dieting

Slim fast? I don't think so. South Beach diet? Yeah right. Counting carbs? Count me out! I'll be doing the Hannah1 diet. Hannah has a great figure, and she only weighs 30 pounds! Clearly her strategy works.

First, you must be Picky about what you eat. And when I say Picky, I mean Picky with a very capital P. For example, she will eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich, but only if it is cut in the shape of a duck. Fortunately, we have a cookie cutter in the shape of a duck, or my life would be pure misery.

Next, you must eat next to nothing. A sample menu would be three peas, a spoonful of yogurt, and a king size candy bar. Or perhaps a fistful of rice, a drop of juice, and a carton of ice cream.

Finally, you must burn off every calorie as you eat it. Hannah does this by taking a small bite of dinner, then running around the table 20 times. Bite. Run. Repeat. Very simple.

With this regimen, you will be in swimsuit shape in no time.

1. As in, my two-and-a-half year old daughter.

4 comments:

Amy said...

So true.

MommaMcCarthy said...

Hahaha. My husband and I were cracking up at this. It appears my son has been on the Hannah diet, until we decided he needed to learn to eat like a civilized human being. So we bought him a high chair that would strap him down tight. Now he has invented a new diet that consists of smearing 30% of his food on his body, face and hair, chucking another 20% (as well as silverware) as far away from him as possible, dumping another 35% in his lap and on the floor while the remaining 15% gets artistically shared around his tray and occasionally sampled.

Aroura said...

Pretty sure little kids live on giggles and sugar.
P.S. Is the duck thing a family trait?

chris said...

My nieces and nephews are all brainwashed at an early age by their favorite uncle:)