Sunday, May 1, 2011

Birthday parties

Hannah is turning three soon, so we did what loving parents do and threw her a birthday party. Only loving parents do things like this because, well, no one else is dumb enough to do it.

First of all, we had to decide who to invite. We followed a simple system. We wrote down all of Hannah's friends. Then we thought about who she would like at the party. Then we threw that list out and just invited the kids who have parents we like.

Next, we had to decide what kind of birthday part to have, or in other words, the theme. A theme these days is mandatory. The invitations, decorations, party favors, food, etc. etc., must all bear some relation to the theme. If you do not have a theme, everyone will know you are not a loving parent.

When the blessed day arrived, we spent several hours cleaning the house. Yes, cleaning. Because I am sure that six three year olds will a) notice that it is clean, and b) leave the place just as clean as they found it. And only non-loving parents don't clean before the party.

After the kids arrived, I realized that a birthday party for three year olds is sort of like babysitting, except you do it for free. To pass the time, we had several games planned. We started with musical chairs.

Note that three year olds do not know how to play musical chairs.

So then we went on to the next game, which was do as I'm doing.

Note that three year olds do not know how to play do as I'm doing.

So we moved on to cake and ice cream about an hour early.

Note to next time skip the games and go right for the sweets because three year olds love cake and ice cream.

The "party", which is "fun", sadly must end at some point. Our final act as host was to send home party favors. Nota bene, these were party favors of our choosing. We sent them home with kazoos, tambourines, and really obnoxiously high-pitched whistles. That's sort of like throwing sand in their parents' eyes and laughing.

And what can the parents do about it? Nothing! After all, loving parents let their kids play with their party favors.

1 comment:

Jerkolas said...

I am quite confident that I will from now consult with Jeremiah in all parenting matters when I arrive at such a stage in my life.