Saturday, July 2, 2011

reasons to listen to and accept advice from all sources, up to, and including, your father

Let me tell you a story.

On the day when I left home to make my way in the world, my daddy took me to one side.

"Son," my daddy says to me, "I am sorry I'm not able to bankroll you to a very large start, but not having the necessary letters to get you rolling, instead I'm going to stake you to some very valuable advice.

"One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new Ikea bed of which the packaging is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that you can buy that brand-new Ikea bed and not spend the next month in a waking hell listening to the sounds of a thousand screaming banshee mice as your bed attempts to do you permanent ear damage every time you shift in the slightest degree. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of mousey battle cries."1

1. As much as it pains me to say it, Michelle, you were right. Unrelatedly, anybody want to buy an Ikea loft bed? You'll love it. It does not squeak. At. All.

1 comment:

Michelle Glauser said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha! . . . I mean, I'm sorry, Chris. That really does stink. And I still say it's not too late: call IKEA and be the jerk customer if you have to! Unless you already did some weird revisions on the bed. Or you could try pawning it off on some poor, unsuspecting Craigslist user.