Sunday, October 9, 2011

no post for you!

My apologies for not posting last weekend; I was going to make it up earlier this week sometime, but I'm afraid it was a distinctly unfunny week. I did manage to eke out a tribute to my buddy Jess Berry on her blog, so I encourage you to read that if you want your weekly Chris Perry fix made up.

As further consolation, I provide to you the results of some house cleaning I did last week. I finally went through my files from high school, and boy was that a series of embarrassments, the most heinous of which have been, thankfully, deleted. I was storing a collection of sappy stories, bad jokes, mild-grade Utah heresy, and random videos which are all now likely available on YouTube. What a weird dude I was.

One file that I did delete contained the results of some brainstorming on June 1st, 1999. In those days I wrote occasional articles, some of which were featured in an underground high school newspaper, details of which I cannot remember.

This presents the strongest evidence so far of both my progression as a writer (seriously folks, I think these ideas are probably the most embarrassing things I have written here, and I have written some pretty damning things), as well as the complete undeviating constancy of my obsession with my bad experiences with women.

I wish I could remember the details behind some of these, and I wish I could forget the details behind the rest. Luckily, none of these ever made it into print. Except the women bit. A lot.

Possible articles on:

Why is the sky blue?
Why don't I have a car?
Why don't girls like me?
Why is the Internet slow?
Why do teenagers think they are good drivers?
Why do adults think they are so much better drivers than teenagers?
Is Titanic better than Star Wars?
Why do people like Titanic?
Why do people watch talk shows?
What is wrong with kneeling down when you bowl?
Why do we have St. Patrick’s day?

Oh, and as long as I'm being boring, I'll mention that I've been working on The Complete Guide to Everything, Volume One again, which I have compiled until February of this year. I'm currently shooting for a spring release of next year with fancy new re-written and improved posts. I've got everything set up to launch on the Kindle and iPad. I'll see how that goes before shopping it around to real publishers.

1 comment:

Jess said...

Did I tell you my Mom laughed extra hard at your post? Also, she was very upset with me that I did not introduce her to CP today at church. I'm in trouble. On the bright side, she thinks you're hilarious.