Monday, November 14, 2011

the full and complete list of candy which is considered an abomination to the right-minded people of this earth, and should be banned, hunted, and destroyed from off of the face of the earth for its perpetuation of pure unadulterated disgustingness

Candy corn1

1. Okay, I'm so serious about this. How can you people like something that tastes like death and misery wrapped in despair and hatred? I couldn't create something more disgusting even if I tried. Let's say you're about to eat some candy corn. Let me give you a few alternatives which are guaranteed to taste better: cardboard, razor blades, rabid squirrel toenails, or candy corn harvested from the stomach of a rotting rottweiler. Anything is better than plain candy corn, because candy corn defines repulsive.

6 comments:

Beckee Davis said...

Awwww but it is so much fun to bite off the different color layers and then pretend that the top yellow part is a tooth! Give it a try....might change your mind about candy corn :)

Mike said...

Chris,

I love reading your blog. I even have it book marked. Admittedly, I don't read blogs too often, but when I do, I definitely make time to get to yours. It always brings a smile to my face.

Mike Glauser

Shelle said...

Chris, I will see your candy corn and raise you _any_ type of artifically-flavored banana candy (e.g., banana-flavored laffy taffy). After such an abhorrent sugar experience, you will find yourself weeping and apologizing abjectly to the candy corn you have wronged.

Kevin Dee Davis said...

worst post ever...

megan said...

Would you eat them with a banana?
Would you eat them with a Hannah?
I like to eat them just for kicks.
I think they're tasty in trail mix.

Marie said...

i bought 3 delicious bags a couple weeks ago. yummmmmm.