Wednesday, December 21, 2011

wisdom teeth

My fiancée is getting her lone wisdom tooth removed as I write this post, and I am holding vigil back here in Northern California, where we pay through the nose to never see frost, and you are BREAKING THAT DEAL THIS WEEK, NorCal, and I expect a sincere apology in the form of a non-freezing bike ride to the train in an hour. Or else.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "wait, she's now his fiancée??! Isn't that gorgeous vixen of gloriousness way too smart to agree to marry him?" Or, "isn't she a little too hot to be marrying Chris Perry?" Or, "wait, is the entire point of this post to write the word fiancée as many times as possible and brag about snagging the most absolutely wonderful person in the entire universe?"

And while the answer to all of those questions is a resounding yes, fiancée fiancée fiancée fiancée, you're actually probably all wondering how she got away with having only one wisdom tooth. I've been pondering that myself for the past month, and have spent that time improving my tongue biting techniques to stop myself from interrupting her and yelling out HALT WITH YOUR ONE WISDOM TOOTH TALE! and regaling her of tales of the removal of my three wisdom teeth.

But I wouldn't do that sort of thing,1 because I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the relationship status we just posted on Facebook hours ago, which has been liked by, as of this writing, 72 people on my wall, and 86 people on her wall. But of course, I'm not counting that sort of thing, because I would never compete with my beautiful bride to be, even if, technically, it was she who inserted an element of competition into the liking.

I will, however, just make brief mention, and this is neither here nor there, and I have no ulterior motives other than counting stats for kicks and giggles,2 and I am in no way trying to snatch victory in this non-competition, but I will just say that many of the likes on her wall technically originate from friends of mine, so I will just say that and concede defeat to the soon-to-be-wisdom-toothless brilliant and beautiful fiancée.

Fiancée fiancée fiancée fiancée.

That is all.

P.S. I love you. Good luck.

1. Actually, I did. And she really loves me, because she sat through my three-wisdom-tooth tale without punching me in the face once.
2. I was twenty eight before I was informed by my co-workers, while heartily laughing at my expense, that giggles is usually paired with another, slightly more harsh word.

6 comments:

brittney said...

definitely. most of them are your friends, it's true.

also, thank you for having my three missing wisdom teeth. it was really scary when they were just taking out the one. but I'm fine. totally fine. I was very brave and only cried for a couple minutes.

Fiancé fiancé fiancé fiancé :)

HH said...

Oh, man, wisdom teeth!!! This reminds me of when I had all 4 of mine removed - all impacted, of course! ;) The best part is that I was so hopped up on drugs after that I watched "Finding Nemo" 4 times in a row, thinking it was a never before viewed cinema. All the while drooling and not even realizing with my huge chipmunk cheeks. Good times, those!

Beckee Davis said...

You two are so lucky......I had 5 wisdom teeth!!! Creepy I know, but thankfully I don't have to ever worry about them. I got them out the day after I had my bridals done. I think it's cute that together you make a complete set of wisdom teeth ;) hehe!

kt said...

:)

Ted Lee said...

>>> God Interactive Python Shell

>>> engaged = (" + ").join(['chris','brittney'])
>>> humans = open("/earth/humans.log","a")
>>> humans.write(engaged)
>>> humans.close()

All lame jokes aside, really happy for you Chris.

Lucy said...

I had only one wisdom tooth. Must be a sign of something... Congratulations again! When and where is the big day?