Sunday, February 7, 2016

healthy

Being healthy is pretty awesome. You sleep well, you can run whenever you want, and you can look down with moral superiority at the sick people who come to work to try and infect you. The only way being healthy can be a downer is living with someone who is sick.

First of all, any pity is just totally out of the question. If you're sick, it's all, "oh I'm so sorry you must feel terrible let me make you chicken noodle soup instead of telling you why I think it's a disgusting dish and should never be allowed in our home".

No no, if you're healthy, you only get people saying, "oh gee you look good today", and, "how are you my friend". If you let slip your true feelings on your wife's illness, all of those hypocrites change their tune quick as a flash to, "I can't believe you'd be so selfish", and, "in what world do you think it is socially acceptable to blog that you beast of a man".

And you deserve pity after all! It is mildly inconvenient to be woken up by someone coughing and writhing in pain. It sure sucks up time to play with your son at the park as he laughs and giggles and spends precious moments of a golden childhood beaming at you when you could be pushing him off to his mother and reading The Economist. And the puking in the background sure can make it hard to hear the game.

Yes, my perfectly healthy friend slaving away at your blog post with coughing in the background, I feel your pain. And I will definitely be there for you when you get kicked out to the doghouse. As long as you don't get sick too.

2 comments:

brittney perry said...

no one ever asks how the baby daddy is doing AND THIS IS WHY.

jk love you

we would all be dead without you

MommaMcCarthy said...

plus, the only thing worse than being sick is being sick AND pregnant- you're not allowed to take ANYTHING to help you feel better, and it's not like you felt all that great before when you were "healthy"...